(Sung to the tune of “12 Days of Christmas”)
On the first day of Christmas my players gave to me
Unrealistic expectations green to tee.
On the second day of Christmas my players gave to me
Too many ball marks
with unrealistic expectations green to tee.
On the third day of Christmas my players gave to me
Three broken rakes,
Too many ball marks
with unrealistic expectations green to tee.
On the fourth day of Christmas my players gave to me
Four carts for four,
Three broken rakes,
Too many ball marks
with unrealistic expectations green to tee.
On the fifth day of Christmas my players gave to me
Five wet tire marks!
Four carts for four.
Three broken rakes.
Too many ball marks
with unrealistic expectations green to tee.
On the sixth day of Christmas my players gave to me
Six moved markers,
Five wet tire marks!
Four carts for four,
Three broken rakes,
Too many ball marks
with unrealistic expectations green to tee.
On the seventh day of Christmas my players gave to me
Seven unfixed divots,
Six moved markers,
Five wet tire marks!
Four carts for four.
Three broken rakes.
Too many ball marks
with unrealistic expectations green to tee.
On the eighth day of Christmas my players gave to me
Eight missed cart signs,
Seven unfixed divots,
Six moved markers,
Five wet tire marks!
Four carts for four,
Three broken rakes,
Too many ball marks
with unrealistic expectations green to tee.
On the ninth day of Christmas my players gave to me
Nine broken tees,
Eight missed cart signs,
Seven unfixed divots,
Six moved markers,
Five wet tire marks!
Four carts for four,
Three broken rakes,
Too many ball marks
with unrealistic expectations green to tee.
On the tenth day of Christmas my players gave to me
Ten unraked bunkers,
Nine broken tees,
Eight missed cart signs,
Seven unfixed divots,
Six moved markers,
Five wet tire marks!
Four carts for four,
Three broken rakes,
Too many ball marks
with unrealistic expectations green to tee.
On the eleventh day of Christmas my players gave to me
Eleven ropes stepped on,
Ten unraked bunkers,
Nine broken tees,
Eight missed cart signs,
Seven unfixed divots,
Six moved markers,
Five wet tire marks!
Four carts for four,
Three broken rakes,
Too many ball marks
with unrealistic expectations green to tee.
On the twelfth day of Christmas listen to my plea,
Please avoid ropes,
Rake the bunkers,
Clean broken tees,
Follow the cart signs,
Replace your divots,
Don’t move the markers,
Avoid all wet spots!
Ride carts together,
Report broken rakes,
Fix your ball marks
And your golf course will improve.